i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
