drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I look better un-naked...
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
