Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Randomize
