Im at strip club and am horny
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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