Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
