I hate all girls vehemently.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize