When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
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