At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Randomize
