That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
