Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
