he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Randomize
