try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Randomize
