I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Randomize
