either way he was missing a nipple.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Just invented taco cereal.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Randomize
