so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
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