you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
