Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
