I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I just want nice things and good sex
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
