Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
