I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
