dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
