Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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