My brain says no but my pants say off.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
party gras won. party gras always wins.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
