Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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