We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
