He is an equal opportunity slut.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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