"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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