i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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