I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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