and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
