So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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