yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
