New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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