just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
