I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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