we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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