I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
