Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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