Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
3pm strippers are depressing
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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