I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Randomize
