oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
