I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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