Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
