are you still at the devil's house?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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