At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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