i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Randomize
