if you like me you must not know who I am
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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