wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
