Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
