your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
This is the high leading the old right now
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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