Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
