i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
